What letter comes after A? It's Y!!! Be careful when you assume.

To assume makes an... well you know the saying [Or maybe I am assuming too much]. Attempting to assess what someone else knows can be difficult. This requires collecting as much information as possible to make such an assessment. So let's say that you want to see if I know my alphabet and you ask me, "What letter comes after A?"

If I respond with, "The letter Y," then you might assume that I do not know my alphabet. This assessment would be incorrect because in fact, Y does come after A in the alphabet, just a lot further down the way. Also, Y comes after A in my name, Jay. So this would make Y a better answer than B.

Every question, and every assessment I make comes with a set of assumptions. When I give my son, Jaden, a math test, I am assuming that he actually took the time to read the directions. If he fails my test, I am going to assume that he didn't know the math concepts when maybe he just read the directions too fast, misunderstood the question, etc. I need more information before I assume I know where he got stuck.

My children look up to me and other adults to affirm their strengths and identify their weaknesses through the developmental process. If I just left my son with a poor number or letter score at the top of his page, he will assume that he is bad at math when in fact, he might just be going to quickly, thinking about the questions differently, etc. These misconception are primarily driven by poorly selected questions and hasty assumptions. There are a few things I try to do to avoid such pitfalls as I teach my children.

1. Listen

I try to get into the head of my sons to understand how they are thinking. The best way to do this is to listen.

2. Ask Why

When Jaden gets an answer right or wrong, I give him the chance to explain his reasoning.

3. Affirm

As my kids learn, I try to help them make connections with the things they already know. Look for the positive and correct parts of the reasoning chain to affirm when a wrong answer is given.

4. Discover

I like to delay just giving correct answers whenever possible. This takes a lot longer, but it is worthwhile. This gives my children the chance to discover the answers for themselves and will encourage and strengthen their drive to learn. As I watch my kids travel this wandering path of discovery, I usually get 10 times the insight into what they actually know and how they think than a simple right or wrong answer.

5. Open a conversation

Ask questions and explore ideas that may not have a right or wrong answer. For example, I asked my 4 year old son, Colben, "Why is The Hulk awesome!" This gave him the opportunity to develop critical thinking skills about his very limited knowledge of The Hulk [His only exposure to The Hulk is a cup he selected from Walmart and The Avengers advertisements]. His answer, "because he goes grrrrrr."

Written by Jay Melashenko
Dad and Co-teacher of 3 curious boys ages 2,5, & 8